Flyer distributors. Policy sellers. Promoters. Survey-takers. Door-to-door salespeople. Donation seekers. What do they have in common ? Really annoying jobs that's what. I'm sure they're just as frustrated as the scurrying people they chase after. Don't give a flying frying pan how they feel though when they use guilt, fear or embarrassment to hassle the walking innocent.

Spare a thought for the needy, you heartless wretch. Look you're walking around fully clothed, looking well-fed, toting accessories you don't need and you won't spare a few cents for the aged/disabled/destitute ?! I'm making donations every month out of my paycheck, plonk coins in when they're available and generally give seats to the elderly. (On that note, giving up seats to the seemingly-pregnant can be a minefield. Never know if you'd earn yourself a tight whack across the face for thinking that paunch could be a baby in the making). No need to shove a tin can to my face at the bottom and top of the escalator. (Egghead alert!) If I feel your cause is worthy, I'd give. Most of the time, I take pity on the frazzled tin-can holder, regardless of the logo on the sticker. To those in the school of the sulk-n-shove, the chaser, the frozen statue, better off going to the nearest bank and change your own 5 dollar bill into 5 cents and dumping them all in. To charity organizations out there, please use the tin cans sparingly. Whether volunteering or getting paid, go brainstorm and find more creative ways to help your cause.

Promoters, ladies have enough self-esteem worries. There really is no need to point out that I have blemishes on my face when I'm browsing the skin care/acne section. No need to recommend breast enhancements either, I have the solution for that (har har silvertube), The ads aren't really too convincing either. If I lean down seductively, shove my arms close to the side of my boobs and/or wear a stuffed bra with the bottom half consisting of sponge and air, I'd be posing for Maxim, albeit with a paper bag over my head. Tummy trimmers are the absolute bull in exploiting the fear of being flabby. So spare me that crap too. What's really disconcerting is glancing at the endorser of these products. Fann Wong touting Xando is like Stone Cold touting shampoo. On that note, the promoters look suspect too.

Insurance agents. You could have nightmares consisting entirely of 5 words. DO you have a minute ? DO YOU have a minute ? DO YOU HAVE a minute ? DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE ? I DO HAVE A MINUTE BUT I'D RATHER SPEND IT GRATING MY NAILS ON THE CHALKBOARD !! If I want a policy, I'd ask. If I say I already have a policy, it means I do and if I want to review it, I'd call my insurance agent. They ought to buy an insurance protecting them from irate passers-by but no insurance company in the world would sell that, I'm sure.

Flyers. Waste of paper. Only I tend to take it home and recycle them in various ways. Leads to evil too as they tend to clutter. Never able to use them as fast as they're given out. Sarang tikus syndrome. The distributors aren't picky, thrusting multiple copies at a time on your chest or elbow. It really irks me though, given flyers in a language i can't comprehend. Just really, really noying. What's the success rate of this form of ad anyway ? Maybe I should ask in a survey.

Survey-takers. I've hit jackpot, first prize, plane ticket n villa stay a coupla times already. Lucky me. All i had to do to claim this fabulous prize was follow them to a building, take a lift and follow the narrow aisle to an office with a whiteboard. How'd i know this ? Once on a whim, I followed through cos my prize was a Marche voucher. Now that's worth trailing a stranger with a clipboard to a strange building to. I had to sit for 3 hours to get that 50 bucks voucher. 3 hours of glossy picture books, posters of palm trees, hard-sell, soft-sell and finally surrender. I had earned my prize without parting with money, only valuable time. Well-spent though for it saved me from the hundreds of times later on when I would never again be stopped for any survey whatsoever.

Door-to-door salespeople. I ought to rig the doorbell with a sensor to send an electric shock when any of those are detected within 5 metres. They deserve top-spot in the bottom pits of humanity. Hell, it's their profession by choice. A profession based on harassment, bugging, haggling, pleading, bargaining, false claims, LC demos n tongue-twisting. Unwittingly opening a door to them is like asking which level of hell do I want to take a peek at today ? The only sane and safe way out for everybody involved would be to slam the door straight away. Any attempts at explaining that you're busy/not interested/don't need the product will be met by rebuttals n counter-rebuttals. Whatever they're selling is the messiah you never knew you needed. The latest sucking technology in vacuum-cleaning. The miracle air-purifier that does scientific things like ionize negative particles and vaporize nanomicrobacteria. Or the clincher, I'm not selling anything, I only need to update my records on the update of the record i made 3 long weeks ago on your vacuum cleaner. This ruse only works once, you pariahs ! At least, compile a list of the sneaky ways you get into individuals' homes and tick them off.

To round things off, in order of annoyance, with some thoughts on merit,it would be:-

6) Donation seekers - it's for a cause other than their own, and students are involuntarily volunteered by their schools to do it.

5) Flyer distributors - Ads can be perused at own time and rubbish bins are available close by distributors most of the time. Paper can also be recycled.

4) Survey-takers - They offer goodies sometimes.

3) Policy-sellers - Most smile and offer a thank-you after a brush off.

2) Promoters - Hidden gems might be uncovered if you bought something from them you would never have otherwise thought of touching.

1) Door-to-door salespeople - No redeeming value whatsoever.